The Vernal Equinox

I don't know about you, but the past month has been a doozy. I am not usually one to look to the cosmos for explanations, yet recently I have been hoping there is something to blame for much harder life has been as of late. I'll spare too many details aside from saying that out home has been plagued by illness and some very close people to me have been facing some of the worst life has to offer. As I try to keep my life afloat and support those I love I've been clinging to the fact that winter always turns to spring (as on of my favorite buddhist teachings says).

In fact, today is the auspicious vernal equinox. After watching this TikTok, I decided that I would use the coming of spring as a fresh start on my new year and leave the woes of February (and early March) behind. The start of spring has always been special to me. My beloved grandmother's birthday was the first day of spring (give or take a few hours depending on the year). Like a budding flower breaking through winter, she was always hopeful and ever resilient. Her youthfulness even as she faced the ailments of old age was a constant reminder that I can take on the challenges of life and still find joy in the everyday. So in celebration of what would have been her 90th, I am declaring the coming of this season a chance for me to reset my intentions for the year.

New Year, New Goals

Last week I shared my intentions for the year, and today I have been thinking about concrete goals. There are a few areas I want to focus on this year home, money, hobby, health, and style. Family is notably missing because so much of my life is about my little nuclear family and creating time and memories with extended families that I do t think I need specific goals at the moment. These other areas have been somewhat neglected and I have some concrete things I want to accomplish which I’ll dive into now.

Home

I have the goal of making our rental our own this year. We’ve been here for three years and plan to stay for several more so I want to invest in some cosmetic changes that do more than what furniture and decor can do. First on my list is my en-suite bathroom which is the epitome of builder grade.

Money

Ever since getting pregnant and especially having my son I have paid very little attention to my spending. My shopping is typically pretty intentional, but it exploded with buying things for the baby and I have deeply evaluated how much of that is necessary, convenience, or now frivolous. I want to start with a low buy challenge to slow down a bit. And I plan to reconcile my 2023 budget with my actual expenses to see exactly where my money is going. Fingers crossed!

Hobby

Last year I knew all hobbies would need to go on hold to survive the baby phase but this year I want to start dabbling again. Particularly with more writing (and reflecting). I write a lot for work and want to strengthen my creative writing muscles.

Health

As with many things I mentioned above, fitness was put on a bit of golf last year. In particular this year I want to get back to daily stretching, some strengthening, and a steady and sustainable routine.

Style

The last goal is about clothes and styling what’s already in my closet. My body seems to have normalized a bit and I am fitting back into some of my pre-baby clothes and culling some that not longer serve my needs. I want to have fun with my wardrobe again and rediscover the pieces I have so getting dressed and sharing that is on my list for 2024.

2024 Intentions

2023 was a year of stretching beyond belief. I decided at the end of 2022 my word would be “Release” and true to form I took it seriously. I released many toxic tendencies such as my incessant self criticism (thank you therapy). With that I released the notion of perfection. Not only did I release it, I have a fondness for and may have even begun to deeply love imperfection. It is in the imperfections of my messy home, ever-changing schedules, and physical appearance that my joy in motherhood was found.

I’ve always prided myself in keeping a tidy and cozy home. It is core priority for me because a messy and cluttered environment triggers my anxiety. But this year I began seeing the little messes, like unfolded laundry, piles of dishes, and strewn about toys differently. The undone laundry meant more time cuddling and playing with my son. The piles of dishes were remnants of meals spent with my husband. The toys all about were evidence of a healthy, active, and curious little boy. My untidy home now housed a family of three living life each and every day. It is our safe place and sanctuary, but that doesn’t mean it must always be perfectly ordered and pristine.

Relinquishing my perfectly timed schedule was a bit harder to let go of. I thrive off of productivity and efficiency (my inner anti-capitalist hates to admit), but those are less possible with an infant in the way I previously understood them. Keeping a schedule was hard, and maximizing my days with many activites/errand/chores as I used to is impossible. Now productivity looks like taking care of my family’s basic needs without loosing my shit. It’s spending hours watching my son master a new skill and swelling with pride over it. Efficiency is hacking my day-to-day so it passes with ease. Gone are the days of being out the door on time and getting all my life admin done in an afternoon. Now I need to triage what is one thing I can accomplish today and feel great if that gets done (and come to peace if it doesn’t).

After a lot of reflection on 2023, my word of 2024 came to me quickly and with very little thought.

I considered what has been lacking in all the new abundance and learning of this year and the first thing that came to mind was romance. Don’t get me wrong, this year has been overflowing with love from myself, my partner, family, and friends. But romance has been in short supply. Romance with my husband, thats a given. Finding time to be just the two of us not exhausted and not discussing the baby is a monumental effort, but one we have been making more and more often. But also romancing myself as been lacking. Being a new mom leaves very little energy and effort for oneself and thats something I must address.

I read a definition of romance that described it as a feeling of excitement or remoteness from everyday life. It made me think of all the small ways I would add romance to my days pre-baby. Like trying a new cafe or treating myself to a massage. Lounging at home doing all the self care things like face masks, manicures, and hair treatments. Buying myself flowers and making arrangements to liven up my home. These are all romantic gestures I can give myself.

Here’s to more romance in the big and small ways in 2024. Wishing you so much love and joy in the new year as well <3

2023 Intentions

I’ve been thinking of what I want more of in 2023, and also what I want less of. Here’s whats been on my heart.

More:

Candid photos

Leisurely naps

Asking for help

Reading on the beach

Cooking delicious meals

Searching for the silver lining

Letting go of what’s not serving me

Doing things just for the fun of it

Unplanned, quality time with loved ones

Less:

Self-judgement

Overfilling my plate

Acting out of “obligation”

Feeling guilty about silly things

Trying to control the uncontrollable

2022 Reflections

2021 was a year of deep grief and growth for me. 2022 was my year of budding and patience. 2023 will be a true test of how much of that growth I can apply to my day to day.

This year has had a lot of “down time” while I was sick or just limited by pregnancy. This time allowed me to reflect on what matters most and the limitations showed my what is actually a “requirement” in my life and what is non-essential.

Recently, I happened upon “Kolb Learning Styles” which a theory that there is a 4 stage process to truly learning something: experience, reflection, learning, experimentation (and then back to experience). The experimentation, or as I like to think of it implementation, piece is the part I think I can miss out on at times. But it is the critical part where you take what you learned and apply it to your life. For instance last year I learned that I try to control so much of my life to create stability due to my unstable upbringing. And that often works for me, but at times I try to control what is uncontrollable and that can lead to suffering for me. So in 2022 I have been trying to identify what is worth trying to control and accepting what isn’t.

Along those lines, next year I truly want to implement the practice of putting in effort and then letting go when I have done all I can and trusting that my effort was enough. My 2023 word of the year is Release. I know that parenthood is going to come with some many things outside of my control. I am going to be working with a little human and partner with their own ways of doing things and I anticipate acceptance of that might be tough for me initially. But I am making it my goal to release the stranglehold I try to have on life and take things as they come. I want to summon the wisdom to know when I need to step in and when I can let others step in (or maybe even not). There might be a lot of “letting go” in 2023 and I am excited to see how that changes me.

My hope is that this year I will release the tension in my jaw, my expectations, the tight hold grip I have on my life and embrace all the unknown that is to come. I’m want this next chapter to feel like an exciting adventure. Much like when I started my business, I think becoming a parent will be this new exciting challenge I am totally unprepared for but eager to figure out. Only unlike with my business the goal will be to enjoy each day and try not to look to far down the line at specific end goals.

2021 Intentions

Each year I choose a word, or as my friend Elise calls is “One Little Word.” 2020’s word was rest. Naturally as the year played out this word came to have a different and deeper significance to me. I am not planning to do a “report card” for this past year as I have in the past because there is simply too much to unpack, good and bad.

2021 Intention

no pressure hopes for the new year

The biggest thing is next year my word in abundance. If there is one thing I learned this year it is that gratitude and hope can co-exist with grief, struggle, uncertainty, and more. So my only intention is to foster an abundant mindset.

2019 Resolutions Report Card

Each year I typically look back on my past year’s resolutions and rate myself on how well I held up. Although I enjoy this process of reflection this year I am not going to grade myself. I’ve been reading this book called The Birth Order Book, and it’s opened my eyes to how self-critical I am. As a firstborn I am a bit of a perfectionist. In the past I wore my perfectionism as a badge of honor but now I understand how unhealthy it actually is. Long story short, I think forgoing the self grading this year is a step in the right direction.

Now onto my resolutions!

This year I wanted to focus on enjoying the process in all aspects of my life, resting more and not just when my body forced me to, and staying grounded in my faith.

Enjoying the process is such a process in itself. I have been working hard to reprogram re way my brain works for a few years now. I’ve always been a results driven person. I love the feeling of setting a goal and then pushing until I reach the finish line, typically sooner than expected. And once I do I immediately move on I the next thing if I haven’t already (chronic multi-tasker over here). As I have gotten older the satisfaction in achievement has waned at times. I even went through a period of nihilism where everything seemed a bit pointless. That’s when I had to step back and think more about the deeper mission of achieving goals I set. I began to realize that no achievement is remarkable without appreciation for the effort that went into it. And even more importantly no end goal is worth Much if all the time spent reaching it is lost as either a blurred or stressful memory. In short, this year I have been actively trying not to begrudge all the steps between me and my objectives. I am trying to reflect each day as I go through the process of learning and growing and it makes those end goals feel less important and all the small wins along the way are the ones I get to cherish.

As for my resting resolution, I definitely need more work in this area. I have decided that the theme of 2020 will be rest for me once again. One great stride I made was in understanding my unhealthy relationship with rest and the guilt I feel when taking it. I began listening to the Stressproof podcast and in one episode the host, Susan Choi, talks about achievement addiction. I immediately realized that I had that. As Susan describes it, a symptom of achievement addiction may be the “your sense of achievement once reaching your goal is short lived, you minimize your achievements to yourself and others and say it’s really no big deal, you never feel at rest and often feel restless, (and more…).” I certainly lean toward feeling restless, minimizing my accomplishments, and chasing the next checkbox. Over the years I have noticed this in myself and I think this is in part where the guilt for resting or spending my time “unproductively has come from.” And while I have somewhat settled the restlessness and checkbox chasing, the inability to rest still remains. All that to say I am going to keep working at it because I know just how important turning off is to the creative mind, spiritual mind, and physical body.

My last big resolution was about faith, and I think that deserves a post on its own so I am going to save my thoughts for another day.

If you liked this resolution report card, check out my others from past years here. And you can see my visual summary of 2019 below with more detail on instagram.

2019 Life Resolutions

In 2019 I have three focus areas, all of which I hope will help me pace myself during what is bound to be a busy year…

Embrace the process

This year I want to embrace the process in my creative work, work as an entrepreneur, and spiritual work. Truly all aspects of my life.

Rest Intentionally (not just when exhausted)

I want to take more time out to rest my mind and body and not feel guilty about it!

Stay Grounded in Faith 

I want to nourish my spirit and give my buddhist practice more attention. My faith is the pivot point from which I make all decisions so the stronger that is the more confident I am in every aspect of my life.

2018 Resolutions Report Card

It is 2019. Even though I have been looking forward to the new year for weeks now, it still feels odd that we are here. Maybe it's because it seems like just yesterday I was writing my 2017 version of this post, or maybe because I have so many long term goals coming due in 2020! Either way we are here and I am going to share with you how I felt I did sticking with my theme for last year and my resolutions.

2018 was the year of courage for me. I went on (and on) about it in my post without revealing what exactly I have been summoning courage for. Well if you've been following along with me on Instagram you probably know I started a business last year. And it was bumpy to say the least. Venturing into something brand new and public facing can shake ones confidence to the core and it took a whole lot of courage for me to stand up to my insecurities each day and plow forward.

Read My 2018 Goals

creative expression

A+ I am very proud to say 2018 was a year of creation for me. I started Two Days Off and began thinking creatively to design the clothing line and solve entrepreneurial problems. I invested my time and money into this part of my life and it feels great.

habits and routines

B I stuck to many of my intended habits this year, like hydration, meditating, and maintaining a skincare regimen (woohoo on this one!). All in all I made progress but there are a few habits (like taking time to rest and unplug each week) that could use more work.

sustainability

B+ I am probably most proud of this one because I have made lot of small but thoughtful changes in my consumption and the products I use. On the household front I have realized it isn’t as challenging as I thought it would be to reduce my waste and begin eliminating plastic. Similarly with my toiletries I started to take a pause before replacing a product to make sure it was something I did need and if there were lower-waste options available (something in glass I could buy, a dual-purpose product, or if I could buy it in bulk). I also started to reduce my dependence on Amazon because I loathe the excessive amount of packaging they use to ship products. Some of my favorite low-waste solutions I started using includes Who Gives A Crap recycled toilet paper that helps build toilets in underdeveloped places, and napkins from fabric scraps. I also started carrying reusable utensils and straws on outings and trips (although I really should just keep them in my purse all the time). Although I do think I have made great strides, I could have done better with food. Last year I began relying on Trader Joe’s pre-packaged meals much more in the past (not cooking as much was a trade-off for working full time and starting a business), and that is something I want to tackle this year hence the B+.

2017 Resolutions Report Card

For the past few of years I have shared both my annual travel resolutions and report cards on how I did on them. So I will give you on guess as to what today's post is about... You guessed it! I want to share how I did on my 2017 Resolutions.

Taking a moment at the Real Alcázar de Sevilla

Before the grades, Read my 2017 Resolutions

Self Care

A This year I really worked on taking care of myself. I turned 30 in September and almost as if a switch was flipped I faced health issues. Self-care for me was about devoting time to my wellness. Putting my mental and physical health first. Treasuring me. This care manifested in creating relaxation habits, challenging myself to 100 days of mindfulness and meditation, saying no more often and not overstretching myself, and working in more rest when I travel (like an entire day spent on the beach instead of exploring all day).

Weekend Trips

A+ I think this resolution to make the best use of my time and explore more is where I really shined this year. In the past, I usually have one big 2-week long vacation a year and maybe a weekend trip or 2 out of state to see family. This year I spend a week in LA, a weekend in Woodstock, day trips upstate and out to Long Island, a long weekend in North Carolina, a trip to DC, many summer days at the Rockaways, and most recently a trip to Las Vegas for the holidays. Not only was I able to find the funds to make these small trips happen (hello there tiny wardrobe budget), but I also found the stamina! And one of the big reasons my partner and moved to California a month ago was to be able to take more road trips (year round) and see more of this gorgeous country. So stay tuned in 2018, this resolution is sticking around!

Human Component

A+ This resolution was all about connecting with people and using travel as a way to have conversations and expand my worldview and relationships. I had so many incredible trips that were centered around being with people I love. From a weekend in upstate New York with a group of great friends, to visiting Grandmother in North Carolina, and even traveling to Europe to meet up with my partner's side of the family that lives in different corners of the world. I even got to meet another Instagram friend while visiting LA in March, and she even helped inspire my move out west (thank you, Kristin!).

All in all, I did pretty great this year. Later this week I will share my 2018 goals but in the meantime check out some of my past goals (and my nearly not as stellar report card from last year).

2017 Travel Resolutions

I am a goal setter. That's why I love the process of looking back on the year and setting new years resolutions. Resolutions are firm determinations that I view as essential to living an intentional life. 2016 was the first year I made goals specifically geared toward travel and I found it really useful when preparing for my trips so I decided to do it again this year!

So here goes, 3 resolutions I am making to myself in my quest for even more enjoyable travel in the years ahead...

Self Care

I set big themes in addition to my specific resolutions to hone in on characteristics I want to develop in myself. Last year's theme was hustle, a few years before that it was compassion... this year it is self care. I want to make a habit of practicing self care everyday, including when I travel. Whether it is 10 minutes of meditation, or spending more time on my cleansing my face, I want to take better care of me (I talked a bit about this in my birthday post too). This theme may be a direct consequence of my year of hustle which allowed me to see a need for it in every aspect of my life. Practicing self care when traveling is something else I have noticed I skimp on. Sometimes I trade off packing light for bringing leaving behind some of my favorite products in exchange for multi-use ones. Or I rush through meals or sleep less to fit in more activities. Or even book inconvenient flights to squeeze in the most daylight hours at my destination. I want to make sure I don't sacrifice to much comfort when I travel so that when I return home I am not craving a post-vacation vacation!

Weekend Trips

This year I did a lot of local exploration (which is another new habit I've adopted!) and I plan on expanding this in the new year to short trips around the US! Last year I made the resolution to see more of this vast country, which I did. But I realized late in the game that I could see even more by taking advantage of long weekends and holidays. These types of 2-3 day visits to nearby cities may be just the thing to stave off the lull leading up to a vacation and the post-vacation blues!

Human Component

My final travel resolution has to do with connecting with people. I am an introvert, and while not rude I generally don't go out of my way to meet new people when I travel. But that is something I want to change. On a recent trip to California I had the opportunity to meet up with a couple of instagram friends, @brownkids (Roe and Erin), and it was truly a life expanding experience (and there aren't many times you get to say that about brunch!). This showed me that although museums and architecture are fine ways to spend your time there is nothing like a conversation amongst people with a variety of perspectives on life.

That pretty much wraps up my travel resolutions (so far)! I would love to know if you have any resolutions for 2017, or if you believe in resolutions at all. And either way, how do you try to travel deeper and improve your experiences overall? Please let me know!

I hope you have a safe and fabulous time ringing in the New Year. Heres to an incredible 2017!!!

2016 Resolutions Report Card

Each year after the busyness of the holidays and just before diving into the new year I like to reflect on the year we are leaving behind. This year my reflections brought me back to the travel resolution I made last year. Looking back I am grading myself (in a way) on how well I stuck to my resolutions and if my sentiments changed about any of them.

SEE MORE OF THE UNITED STATES 

I give myself an A. This year I made a very conscious effort to take more day trips and explore more of my city which led to discovering so many new gems in my own backyard. But in addition to that I was able to play tourist in both North Carolina and California for short weekend trips. I think this resolution is going to have to stick around and become a permanent habit!

PACK LIGHTER

A+ for sure. I have finally gotten my luggage down to a carryon alone for trips up to 2 weeks long! This even includes being able to pop my personal item in there if need be. I have also cut out the frenzied pre-vacation shopping and really utilized what I already own. I think in the new year I will start sharing more of my packing light techniques because it has revolutionized the way I travel!

DEDICATED TRAVEL SAVINGS 

A+ This was much easier than expected once I really committed to my budget. I think the next step in this for me will be to start a system for tracking my travel spending that allows me to compare trips over several years and better prepare for upcoming ones.

MAIL POSTCARDS BEFORE COMING HOME

W (for withdraw). So this year I skipped the whole postcard thing altogether. While visiting Tulum this summer sending postcards just wasn't a priority (nor was it at my domestic locales). Maybe postcard sending will become a thing of the past for me, but for now, experiences I will probably try again with this resolution this year! 

KEEP A TRAVEL JOURNAL

I give this one an A+. I document my travel experiences and thoughts here on the blog and have been pretty diligent doing so this year (yay!).

TAKE A FAMILY TRIP

A big fat F. Unfortunately, this year the timing just didn't align to take a family trip (meaning my nuclear family... brothers, sisters, parents), but I have definitely redetermined to make this happen next year!!!

After reviewing my goals for this year I am more focused on what I want to achieve for next. I have a feeling 2017 will be less action oriented and more internally driven. Look out for some 2017 resolutions in the coming days!

Read More About the Why Behind My 2016 Resolutions

New Year, Better Me!

2016 Travel Resolutions

2015 was a challenging and beautiful year filled with huge life transitions and tons of personal growth for me. As I reflect and set my goals for next year I have decided to make concrete travel determinations in hopes of deepening those experiences even more.

See more of the United States

This year I want to focus more on exploring my own back yard and my country. Although I have seen much of the East coast, I have only been to the West coast once and haven't seen any of the mid or southwest! Now that my sister is out west I am very motivated to see more. 2016 California road trip? I hope so!

Pack even lighter

I have gotten really good at packing light, but think I can do even better. I want get my usually crammed carry one to one at least 30% empty to make my trips even easier. I also have a goal of not purchasing any new clothes for my next trip. I usually keep a strict travel budget but always seen to "need" a new dress, bikini or travel pillow. This year I will make do with the plenty that I have!

Automatic monthly travel savings

I want to start a annual savings specifically dedicated for travel. I am hoping I can dedicate some of the bucks I shell out in take out and miscellaneous purchases to this fund to help me always prioritize travel in my life. I mean if this is a bank account set aside for it, it must be serious right?

Mail all postcards before coming home

I have a super bad habit of getting postcards for my loved ones, and even stamps but forgetting to mail them while I am traveling! It's pretty silly actually, I just get so swept up in my trip that I forget. But from now on I want to make the time to drop my family a line and surprise them with a beautiful card.

Keep a travel journal

I have never been much of a journaler, but I want to start jotting down my experiences. Often I will come home and many stories or feelings will feel far away after just a couple weeks but these little moments are worth hanging onto. These are the moments shaping my life and pushing me to appreciate the everyday and that might be something I would like to go back and read someday.

Take a family trip

Two years ago my sister and I went to Costa Rica, and although I have had many amazing trips this was probably the most transformative for a relationship. She and I saw each other with new eyes, learned to trust one another in a strange place and gained more respect for one another. This year I want to be sure to travel with my immediate family and grow our relationships while having a blast.