In a world of gentle parenting, attachment parenting, and even snowplough parenting (had to Google that one!) I have come to my own conclusion that a one size fits all parenting style is nothing but false hope for parents.
Maybe that’s a little harsh, and I have barely a year of experience in this department so take my opinion with a grain of salt. While many parenting theologies have lots of merits (gentle parenting I have found particularly refreshing), I don’t think any style can give you a specific roadmap for your child. Every child is unique and the greatest gift you can give them is acknowledging that and being ever adaptable.
What I’ve found the most steadfast tool in my early parenthood is my intuition. In a world bombarding me with information, and the inevitable pressure to raise and nurture this little person “perfectly” it was easy to second guess what my gut instinctually wanted to do. Since before my baby came out of my womb, my partner and I were making a multitude of micro decisions for his well being on a daily basis. What can I eat, what side should I sleep on, how much rest versus activity, what fibers for his clothes, bedding, diapers, the placement of his cot. So many decisions. In the grand scheme of things, so many of these were inconsequential or at most provided an incremental benefit (but still decisions I’d likely choose over and over again anyway).
When it came to mortal safely I should have realized just how powerful my intuition would be from the very start of his life. I won’t get into details here but like looking back on our birth story, if my inner voice hadn’t been so loud and alerted me that something was wrong we may not have been so lucky as to get him here safely.
Since, with my gut has proven me correct time and time again from discovering my son’s severe food allergies that his physicians could not figure out or even choosing his childcare when I went back to work.
When I first when my husband and I first began planning our parenting journey I envision myself to be a crunchy, Montessori mom who made all of his food from scratch, only purchased developmental toys (you know the type), and never sleep trained. But then I was gifted with a beautiful picky baby who much preferred eating out of food wrappers, was obsessed with balls, and showed me the kind of parent I needed to be for him. I’ve learned to tune in to him, his needs, and his interests. I’ve learned to advocate on his behalf and relying on my natural given gift of intuition.
Every child is different every family is different and there are millions of decisions you make over the course of a day week or month in order to make each one of those I found it’s so much easier to assess in the moment versus planning based on arbitrary information that sounds good in a ideal world. Being flexible and ignoring the “shoulds” from the world and my own head has relieved so much of the pressure of comparison. Armed with information, but ultimately deciding based on his needs, I can trust that I am doing the best I can for my little guy.
And the best part is that the presence and attunement it takes to hear my intuition as a parent beautifully trickled into all aspects of my life .
