Climate Anxiety

It’s gloomy in LA today, and given that a lot of the US is facing extreme heat I am not complaining at all. I can’t lie, watching climate forecasts that I have studied, or even simulated myself, come true is anxiety inducing and disappointing at a magnitude I have nothing to compare to.

I was recently told that anxiety often comes up when I am trying to control something out of my control. The remedy is to accept what I can’t control (apparently). But with something like climate change, how do we do that without becoming apathetic?

It is well know that those working in the climate field have a high burn-out rate. At least among my colleagues in the US. Often passion quickly turns to practicality, and before you know it you are a professional appealing to the most common denominator to get anything done.

For someone like me, idealistic and stubborn, working on climate policy solutions hard career. I was effective, I knew pretty early on that career would have an expiration date. Ambition and creativity are great traits, but persistence and patience are more valuable. I personally moved out of the public sector in favor of a potentially faster moving, more innovative entrepreneurial pursuit..

It’s gloomy in LA today, and given that a lot of the US is facing extreme heat I am not complaining at all. I can’t lie, watching climate forecasts that I have studied over the past decade+ come true is anxiety inducing and disappointing on a whole new scale. I was told recently that anxiety often comes up when I am trying to control something out of my control. The remedy is to accept that I can’t control it apparently, but that’s really hard when it’s an issue I spent all of majority of my life learning about and actively working to remedy. Today instead of dwelling, I am going to focus on the small thing within my control. Focus on what right in front of me. Recount all the progress made, even if it isn’t quite enough. And keep forging ahead.

Today instead of dwelling, I am going to focus on the small thing within my control. Focus on what right in front of me. Recount all the progress made, even if it isn’t quite enough. And keep forging ahead.

Comparisons for Happiness

This year I have been reflecting on how the life I am living now was once just a dream for me. It’s a simple life, but when compared to other phases in my past it astonishes me how far I have come. This is a new perspective for me though…

A few months ago I became so fed up with my constant rumination on goals and ambitions that it was muddling my mind to the point of depression. I had become so focused on the future, in part because of the pandemic, that I could not appreciate where I am right now. My restlessness had become too much, I was constantly feeling rushed to get further in my life, speeding past this present phase. Fortunately, I recognized this feeling was making me unhappy and started the inner work that was needed.

While achievement is such a large part of my personality and life motivation, I recognize there is a dark side of it for me. Years ago I began practicing mindfulness because I can get so fixated on the future that I miss current life. And once I reach that future, I am yet again overlooking it to get to the next stage. I’ve never wanted to fall into the trap of never being satisfied with life. Instead I want to live a life full of appreciation for where I am at every stage and not simple when I’ve “made it.”

The way I cultivate this is by actively and intentional looking around me a speaking (often out loud) the things I am grateful for. At times it is simple the way the light is reflecting on the walls or the blossoming tree just outside the window. Other times it’s the peace and quiet of my home, or a beautiful piece of furniture I use daily. Or maybe it’s a meal I’ve prepared or the person in sharing my time with. When I stop and look around there are endless things that are right in front of me that I am so appreciative of. And the beauty of this practice is before long it happens subconsciously, my mind has quickly become accustomed to seeing what I have as opposed to what I don’t.

And when the gratitude doesn’t come so easily I compare my present, not to my future self or others, but instead to my own past self. I have so much that I have accomplished, and when I stop to think about it I can physically feel the pride well up in my body. I feel proud that I, as a Black mixed-raced woman worked my way through college, eventually and unconventionally received a graduate degree from an Ivy League university, built a fulfilling career and later bootstrapped a business, created stability for myself, found a healthy partner to build a life with, created safe home filled with laughter and love, and done the years of inner work to heal past traumas and manage my anxiety. These things, and more, when listed out are far more impressive than the bigger house or early retirement my mind may be focused on.

When I compare where I am today to me one year, 5 years, 10 years ago and more I can’t help but look around and realize I am enough just as I am.

10+ things I like do when I am feeling stressed

With the current coronavirus outbreak, it seems like most of the battle is maintaining a healthy mental attitude. Admittedly this has been very hard for me so I have a few small acts I go to when I need to beat the mental overwhelm.

• Turn off all devices. I find a lot of my overwhelm is from information overload and the easiest thing for me to do is unplug from my phone, the podcasts, and any other source of external info for a little bit.

• Power nap. Sleep can cure just about anything.

• Take a shower. I don't know what it is about taking random showers in the middle of the day, but for me, they seem to wipe the slate clean.

• Go for a walk. Fresh air, hopefully, some sunshine, getting the body active. A walk almost always gives me a fresh perspective on things.

• Do a few stretches, maybe even a 10-minute yoga flow. I love these from Fightmaster Yoga.

• Make a cup of tea and sit down with a book. Escape into another world, get your brain focused on something else. Sometimes a healthy distraction is the way to go.

• Call my grandma (or anyone who lifts my spirits). 

• Journal. Sometimes I need to dive deeper into the negative feelings and getting them out on paper helps me look at my thoughts as something separate from myself, something less emotional.

• Meditate. If you meditate do it, if you don't know is a great time to learn how. I started meditating with Headspace and their basic course to get started is free to all.

• Ask for a hug. This one could be thought for those of use social distancing alone, but a hug (even virtual ones) from people who care always lifts the spirits and reminds me of all the love in the world despite it all.

• And if all else fails, binge watch Hyori’s Bed and Breakfast on Netflix. This show is the most relaxing thing on Netflix. I wanted to become a homesteader after watching it! And I swear you cannot be stressed while watching it.