Journal

Month 5 Diary

My energy is significantly better and yours is off the charts. You love to wiggle and thump, and your kicks have gotten strong enough that we can see the skin of my belly protrude out as you explore your boundaries. I had a scare a this month when you were stiller than usual for two consecutive days. I missed your early morning dance wake up call and your evening dance session. Fortunately you were back to normal and feeling heavier than ever after those days passed. Maybe you were tired from a little growth spurt?

You seem to like when I sing along to songs in the car, or maybe you’re trying to tell me to knock it off. Either way it’s funny to feel you activate as I am driving to work or serenading your dad. Some days I look down at my belly and can’t believe you are in there. It is still surreal to me that you are having your own independent experience of life, right there tied to mine yet completely different. I asked your dad recently what could you be thinking. My theory is that you’re in the womb, present in a way that will be lost after some time earthside. Just experiencing each moment, not lost in the past or pondering the future. It’s comforting for me to believe.

This month you also went on your first road trip! Your auntie and uncle, Alissa and Saleh, came to visit and we have a fantastic time. They love you so much already. Although it seemed that anytime anyone other than me touches my belly you like to stop moving! Trolling us maybe? Eventually Alissa did catch your thumps after about a week of trying. It’s like whale watching, patience patience. All in all it was a wonderful vacation. We can’t wait for you to meet all of your family and to take you on road-trips when you’re here.

Glimpses of Our Baby Shower

In early November we had our hybrid (virtual/in person) baby shower to celebrate baby and it was better than I could have expected. I was initially on the fence about celebrating given the holidays and covid, but in the end my sister and cousin convinced me and I am so glad they did! Here are a few shots from the set-up and you can find a some more on my Instagram.

Month 4 Diary

What a big month for us all. We made it through the first trimester together, a feat I truly wasn’t sure of at times. This month I started gaining my weight back, all in the belly. I finally began to look pregnant although my little bump has been easy to hide. I take each day as it comes, many are good but some are tough, and this new found pregnancy insomnia has appeared out of nowhere. Regardless, I feel more like my self and incredibly grateful to have most of my first trimester symptoms lessening.

Around 17 weeks I was pretty sure I felt you moving around down there. You felt like little bubbles popping and eventually tiny little thumps. Our doctor confirmed that I have a posterior placenta so I was indeed feeling you moving around (and not just hallucinating your quickening!).

This month (well really week 19) we had our second trimester genetic screening and anatomy scan. And you are doing amazing, we are so relieved and even more proud. I never thought the parental pride could kick in so soon, but I am swelling with it. During the 7am scan you were so active, my fault for scheduling it during one of your most active periods. And I am sure the orange juice I drank that morning didn’t help. But the tech was still able to get pictures of every part of you. We did realize that the placenta is a little too low, so we are watching that, but I am optimistic it will resolve itself.

Month 3 Diary

This month has been another tough one. But the biggest highlight has been getting our NIPT test and NT scan results back! You are looking healthy and we found out your gender, you’re a boy! I like to joke that you’ll be just like your daddy, another Capricorn man will be living in our home and I am not mad about it. Hopefully you’ll grow to be an amazing person just like him.

As for me, I am still suffering from nausea, vomiting, aversions, fatigue, and weight loss. It’s tough, but knowing that you are well and thriving keeps me going.

Baby Shower Planning

Now that I am officially in my 3rd trimester, I have been looking forward to celebrating baby with my closest family members. I’ve never been one for throwing extravagant parties; my partner and I eloped, I never had big graduation parties, typically I like to keep things low key. But let’s just say the journey into parenthood has changed that! My lovely sister and cousin are hosting this event, but I got to plan the “artistic direction.” I knew I wanted something soft and filled with flowers. I also wanted the colors to be gender neutral and more about what I liked than a color representing baby. Here’s what we came up with!

We’ll like order our catering from a local mediterranean grill. I am thinking chicken kebabs, rice, salad, and a few delicious mezze dips. For dessert we found a lovely local cake maker who bakes stunning naked cakes. We’re also planning to bake cookies that will also make it into the take-home goodie bags. As far as drinks, we will have an assortment of Italian sodas and my sister and cousin are planning peach bellinis.

As far as take home gifts for our guests, I fell in love with P.F. Candle Co’s “Golden Coast” scent on my recent road trip (up the golden coast!). We’re going to gift those candles with the homemade cookies and incense bundles.

Decor wise we are planning to make fresh floral bouquets, hang delicate bunting here and there, using pretty compostable tableware to brighten things up, and create a very dramatic balloon garland!

What We’ve Purchased

Balloon Garland

Crepe Paper Bunting

Custom Invitations

Small Plates

Large Plates

Cocktail Scalloped Napkin

Large Scalloped Napkins

Wooden Cutlery

Cupcake Wrapper

Cookie Sleeves

Gift Bags

Decorative Ribbon

That’s all for now! I’ll try to share how the party shapes up and include some of the activities my generous hosts incorporate!

Month 2 Diary

We’re pregnant! I cannot believe it. You are just an itty bitty clump of cells but will soon become our newest family member. This news is a whirlwind of emotions and excitement. I am dying to scream it from the rooftops but and hesitant to tell anyone because nothing feels certain. The month before you we had a very early loss, so we are proceeding with cautious optimism. But this time it feels like perfect timing. In my heart I know you are on your way.

After our first faint positive pregnancy test I kept testing my HG levels every day (from April 30th to May 11th), slowly watching the line darken as my hormone level rose. Eventually we finally saw you on an ultrasound. Hearing your heartbeat for the first time (on May 31st) brought tears to me and your daddy’s eyes. It was the most magical moment and we fell in love with you right then and there.

A SoCal Road Trip: Photo Diary

The drive up the Pacific Coast Highways is probably on of the biggest perks to living in southern California. One of my favorite activities is planning a getaway and researching new spots to stop and explore along the way. Maybe eventually I’ll share some of my favorite itineraries, but for now here are a few of my favorite captures from my latest escape.

What I Wore Last Week

Another week of outfit documentation! This week I made an effort to wear pieces I haven’t reached for lately and style them in new ways.

Outfit 1: Two Days Off Vicki Pant in moss, Universal Thread shirt, and Eileen Fisher mule slides.

Outfit 2: Two Days Off Two Days Off Okaasan Tie Top, Arq Tank Top, and Zara Jeans.

Outfit 3: Two Days Off Kaneko Dress in natural linen worn as a duster, Arq Tank Top, Aliya Wanek pants, and Jenni Kayne bucket bag (15% off with code GINAS15).

Outfit 4: Two Days Off Koto Skirt in black linen, Aurorei Yuna Top, and Kaneko Dress in natural linen worn as a duster, Jenni Kayne crossover sandals (15% off with code GINAS15).

Affirmations of the Week

It was recently suggested to me to try out affirmations. I have to be honest, the thought of saying affirmations out loud to myself made me uncomfortable (although I love reading others’ on Instagram like the one below). And for that reason alone I wanted to examine why, first by trying them out.

My personal affirmation of the week:

I am tender yet resilient. I am precisely where I ought to be and what a beautiful place it is.

 

What I Wore Last Week

Another week of outfit documentation! This week I made an effort to wear pieces I haven’t reached for lately and style them in new ways. It’s a bit of a test as I get closer to October (when I am planning a huge closet clear out!).

Outfit 1: Two Days Off Olivia Top in ivory over my Jenni Kayne slip dress (15% off with code GINAS15). Tree Fairfax extended half moon bag, and Wilder Maude slides.

Outfit 2: Two Days Off Suki Dress in clay linen, Elizabeth Suzann linen vest, and Wilder Maude Slides.

Outfit 3: Two Days Off Suki Top in black linen, Universal Thread jeans, ABLE Amber Boots (20% off with code GINA20), and Irro Irro naturally dyed tote bag.

Outfit 4: Two Days Off Kaneko Dress in natural linen worn as a duster, Jenni Kayne tee dress in sage (15% off with code GINAS15), my well loved Eileen Fisher mule slides, and my A.P.C. half moon demi bag in nut brown.

Outfit 5: A relaxed Friday repeat from last week. My Two Days Off Mioko Duster in natural linen, ARQ tank top, Madewell double gauze pants, and my beloved Jenni Kayne Shearling Slides (15% off with code GINAS15).

Birthday Photo Dump + Reflections

Another revolution around the sun and another year wiser. The past year brought with it a lot more wisdom and a total reshaping of my priorities so I need to write them down to see if they stick.

But first, I had a quiet and lovely birthday. The celebrations started with another beloved Wysocki puzzle and the next day my guy surprised me with a trip to the Getty Museum. I’ve missed museums during the pandemic, and the Getty is one of my all time favorites. Being there reminded me of how simple life can be when I am not busy complicating it. A stroll around gardens, learning something new in the presence of some you love. Bliss.

Last year I didn’t celebrate my birthday. My grandmother passed away about a week before and I was in the thick of grieving. Her death has become an inflection point in my life. Through my grief I recognized that although she lived a simple life, she left the most beautiful legacy. Once centered on compassion and generosity. Over the past year since, I have been reflecting on what my “legacy” will be.

The answer so far is elusive. But between my grief and the pandemic I have become more sensitive to time, and specifically how I spend it. So I know if I give myself more time the answers will come.

The thing about time is that it is what you make it. I spend a lot of my time working, and work brings me a lot of fulfillment. But I take pleasure in so many other things, like learning about an obscure painting like the one above, which I want to spend more time on.

And of course most importantly, who I spend my time with. The biggest lesson of them all. This one I am listening to my gut about. Lately there is a lot less of who I should be spending time with and more of who I crave more time with.

All in all, what a year. What a blessing to celebrate in my own way, and here is hoping for more growth and happiness in the next.

What I Wore Last Week

Last week was a great week in outfits for me, I wore what I love and felt like myself! Here are my favorites (and why) with details.

First up, a beach look. I have been reaching for my Two Days Off Koto Skirt because it is light, easy on and off, and has the most perfect slits for that beach breeze. It’s precisely what I always wanted to wear on my “two days off.” And of course I wore my tried and true Joss Hat from my friend Candace’s shop, Selah (currently on a break).

The second look was what I wore on my birthday outing to the Getty. I added my Okaasan Tie Top over a black jumpsuit I got on Amazon of all places. My shoes are my beloved Maude Slides in black from Wilder, my bag is a new favorite from Cuyana (the Double Loop Tote I reviewed in this video), and my watch is my classic Nordgreen Native watch with the brown leather strap.

In this third outfit I was cozied up at home all day (bliss). I wore my all time favorite head scarf from a shop my friend Jakiya used to have, an ARQ tank top, my Two Days Off Mioko Duster in natural linen, and some old Madewell double gauze pants. My slippers are new and lined in shearling from TKEES, ultimate cozy.

I loved this fourth outfit so much I wore it twice! My dress is a relatively recent addition from COS, topped with my black linen Mioko Duster and Jenni Kayne slides.

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Finally, this last look is another version of the earlier beach look in different colors. I am wearing a Kordal knit tank I bought second hand on Instagram, my natural linen Koto Skirt, and my Joss Hat.

I hope you enjoyed this little round up! I am hoping posts like these will remind me of all the clothes and looks I like to wear! And for discounts at some of my favorite shops like Two Days Off, Cuyana, Jenni Kayne, TKEES, and Nordgreen check out this list. Some of the links there will give me a small commission if you do end up purchasing so it’s a win-win!

G is for Grandma

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One year ago my Grandmother passed away. It astonishes me how quickly time passes by, and even more so how much a person can change in such a short amount of time.

My world changed, when my grandmother died. I am a different person than I was a year ago, nine, six, and even three months ago. The grief has changed how I want to give love. Her absence has made me create space for others. Her wisdom and guidance echoes louder than ever, and I repeat it to myself until I can almost feel her beside me. There won’t ever be a day I don’t miss her, nor will there be a day I am not grateful to have been her granddaughter.

To mark this milestone I made a locket with her initial so I can carry her with me. I made a similar one for a dear friend who recently experience loss as well. If you are looking to make one I cannot say enough good things about GLDN. I ordered the oval locket with a 20-22” round box chain and had the photos printed at my local pharmacy using the template GLDN’s their website.

Our Chill Elopement

Last month my partner and I got married! It was a simple affair (as one would say), and very intimate.

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After deciding to get married, it took us a while to land on what would feel the most like “us.” Eventually the stars aligned and we made it happen at one of the few courthouses open in California during this pandemic! I always knew I didn’t want the fuss of a big wedding. Instead we look forward to a time when it is safe to travel and spend quality time with family, in lieu of what could have been one big event. Everything from the linen dress I bought off a mannequin at the mall the day before, to my Whole Foods flower bouquet felt perfect. We spent the morning slowly getting ready together, almost like any other day. It’s these little moments together that I cherish the most, the mundane routine of life and partnership, so it was so fitting that he watched me curl my hair and I helped him iron his shirt on our special day.

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After our quick courthouse ceremony, a DIY photoshoot, and a lovely lunch al fresco, we headed to the Hoxton Hotel in DTLA for a staycation to soak it all in.

For a look behind the scenes of our engagement shoot getaway to Joshua Tree las year check out this blog post.

A Healing Escape to the Desert

Never did I think I would be that person who runs off to the desert when in need of some downtime, but apparently I am.

At the end of last year my partner and I decided to celebrate our anniversary (and surviving 2020) with a long weekend in Joshua Tree. Seven months later, I am so grateful I recorded some clips to help transport me back.

A Little Space and a New Perspective

By now we all know life and running a small business is not as easy or pretty as it seems on Instagram, right?The story of this blurry dress pictured in the background (the Indya Dress) is a perfect example of one of many struggles I encountered last summer, a struggle that initially felt like defeat.⁠⁠

I had grand plans of releasing the new version of our Indya Dress along side our very popular Indya Tank last summer. I went through all the development of patterning, sampling, sourcing, etc. I even found a way to shoot photos during lockdowns and pitch it to you, our community, to make sure there was interest! We made waitlists and then got ready for production. And then slowly we hit roadblock after roadblock. It was a nightmare series of issues, not caused by one thing but just par for the course in 2020 when everything was tumultuous. After a lot of effort to push this new garment out into the world I decided to give up. There were too many other places my attention needed to be for the business so I decided to just let things unfold as they needed to and let go of getting this garment made in time for summer. And to be honest, I had a bit of a sour taste in my mouth about the dress after all the strife (poor dress, I know 😆!). ⁠

Eventually, the dress was finished. But we were already well in to autumn and again I had no energy to reshoot it (although I must say it would look fab with a turtleneck layered underneath). So I just packed the dresses in a box and left them to sit in the back of my office closet.⁠

Fast forward to this month, a year after I initially planned to launch the dress. My sister and I were making room for the new Yoko Capsule pieces and we open up the box. Olivia, who had never seen these before was baffled as to why they have been in exile. I tell her the whole story but I realize as I tell her that the narrative had shifted. I thought this was a story of defeat, but in fact it is one of triumph. Despite every odd being against me I still made these dresses, not on my initial schedule but I was flexible and more importantly I made an executive decision that allowed me to make many other beautiful things come to life last year. My sour feelings had dissipated and so that brings me to today.

In celebration of my realization and to give these dresses the homes they deserve, we are offering them at cost (of materials and sewing) in our Samples & Seconds sale! We hope that some of you find that this dress was just what you needed this summer and they remind you that victory is often just a matter of perception.