Intuitive Parenting

In a world of gentle parenting, attachment parenting, and even snowplough parenting (had to Google that one!) I have come to my own conclusion that a one size fits all parenting style is nothing but false hope for parents.

Maybe that’s a little harsh, and I have barely a year of experience in this department so take my opinion with a grain of salt. While many parenting theologies have lots of merits (gentle parenting I have found particularly refreshing), I don’t think any style can give you a specific roadmap for your child. Every child is unique and the greatest gift you can give them is acknowledging that and being ever adaptable.

What I’ve found the most steadfast tool in my early parenthood is my intuition. In a world bombarding me with information, and the inevitable pressure to raise and nurture this little person “perfectly” it was easy to second guess what my gut instinctually wanted to do. Since before my baby came out of my womb, my partner and I were making a multitude of micro decisions for his well being on a daily basis. What can I eat, what side should I sleep on, how much rest versus activity, what fibers for his clothes, bedding, diapers, the placement of his cot. So many decisions. In the grand scheme of things, so many of these were inconsequential or at most provided an incremental benefit (but still decisions I’d likely choose over and over again anyway).

When it came to mortal safely I should have realized just how powerful my intuition would be from the very start of his life. I won’t get into details here but like looking back on our birth story, if my inner voice hadn’t been so loud and alerted me that something was wrong we may not have been so lucky as to get him here safely.

Since, with my gut has proven me correct time and time again from discovering my son’s severe food allergies that his physicians could not figure out or even choosing his childcare when I went back to work.

When I first when my husband and I first began planning our parenting journey I envision myself to be a crunchy, Montessori mom who made all of his food from scratch, only purchased developmental toys (you know the type), and never sleep trained. But then I was gifted with a beautiful picky baby who much preferred eating out of food wrappers, was obsessed with balls, and showed me the kind of parent I needed to be for him. I’ve learned to tune in to him, his needs, and his interests. I’ve learned to advocate on his behalf and relying on my natural given gift of intuition.

Every child is different every family is different and there are millions of decisions you make over the course of a day week or month in order to make each one of those I found it’s so much easier to assess in the moment versus planning based on arbitrary information that sounds good in a ideal world. Being flexible and ignoring the “shoulds” from the world and my own head has relieved so much of the pressure of comparison. Armed with information, but ultimately deciding based on his needs, I can trust that I am doing the best I can for my little guy.

And the best part is that the presence and attunement it takes to hear my intuition as a parent beautifully trickled into all aspects of my life .

2024 Intentions

2023 was a year of stretching beyond belief. I decided at the end of 2022 my word would be “Release” and true to form I took it seriously. I released many toxic tendencies such as my incessant self criticism (thank you therapy). With that I released the notion of perfection. Not only did I release it, I have a fondness for and may have even begun to deeply love imperfection. It is in the imperfections of my messy home, ever-changing schedules, and physical appearance that my joy in motherhood was found.

I’ve always prided myself in keeping a tidy and cozy home. It is core priority for me because a messy and cluttered environment triggers my anxiety. But this year I began seeing the little messes, like unfolded laundry, piles of dishes, and strewn about toys differently. The undone laundry meant more time cuddling and playing with my son. The piles of dishes were remnants of meals spent with my husband. The toys all about were evidence of a healthy, active, and curious little boy. My untidy home now housed a family of three living life each and every day. It is our safe place and sanctuary, but that doesn’t mean it must always be perfectly ordered and pristine.

Relinquishing my perfectly timed schedule was a bit harder to let go of. I thrive off of productivity and efficiency (my inner anti-capitalist hates to admit), but those are less possible with an infant in the way I previously understood them. Keeping a schedule was hard, and maximizing my days with many activites/errand/chores as I used to is impossible. Now productivity looks like taking care of my family’s basic needs without loosing my shit. It’s spending hours watching my son master a new skill and swelling with pride over it. Efficiency is hacking my day-to-day so it passes with ease. Gone are the days of being out the door on time and getting all my life admin done in an afternoon. Now I need to triage what is one thing I can accomplish today and feel great if that gets done (and come to peace if it doesn’t).

After a lot of reflection on 2023, my word of 2024 came to me quickly and with very little thought.

I considered what has been lacking in all the new abundance and learning of this year and the first thing that came to mind was romance. Don’t get me wrong, this year has been overflowing with love from myself, my partner, family, and friends. But romance has been in short supply. Romance with my husband, thats a given. Finding time to be just the two of us not exhausted and not discussing the baby is a monumental effort, but one we have been making more and more often. But also romancing myself as been lacking. Being a new mom leaves very little energy and effort for oneself and thats something I must address.

I read a definition of romance that described it as a feeling of excitement or remoteness from everyday life. It made me think of all the small ways I would add romance to my days pre-baby. Like trying a new cafe or treating myself to a massage. Lounging at home doing all the self care things like face masks, manicures, and hair treatments. Buying myself flowers and making arrangements to liven up my home. These are all romantic gestures I can give myself.

Here’s to more romance in the big and small ways in 2024. Wishing you so much love and joy in the new year as well <3

2022 Reflections

2021 was a year of deep grief and growth for me. 2022 was my year of budding and patience. 2023 will be a true test of how much of that growth I can apply to my day to day.

This year has had a lot of “down time” while I was sick or just limited by pregnancy. This time allowed me to reflect on what matters most and the limitations showed my what is actually a “requirement” in my life and what is non-essential.

Recently, I happened upon “Kolb Learning Styles” which a theory that there is a 4 stage process to truly learning something: experience, reflection, learning, experimentation (and then back to experience). The experimentation, or as I like to think of it implementation, piece is the part I think I can miss out on at times. But it is the critical part where you take what you learned and apply it to your life. For instance last year I learned that I try to control so much of my life to create stability due to my unstable upbringing. And that often works for me, but at times I try to control what is uncontrollable and that can lead to suffering for me. So in 2022 I have been trying to identify what is worth trying to control and accepting what isn’t.

Along those lines, next year I truly want to implement the practice of putting in effort and then letting go when I have done all I can and trusting that my effort was enough. My 2023 word of the year is Release. I know that parenthood is going to come with some many things outside of my control. I am going to be working with a little human and partner with their own ways of doing things and I anticipate acceptance of that might be tough for me initially. But I am making it my goal to release the stranglehold I try to have on life and take things as they come. I want to summon the wisdom to know when I need to step in and when I can let others step in (or maybe even not). There might be a lot of “letting go” in 2023 and I am excited to see how that changes me.

My hope is that this year I will release the tension in my jaw, my expectations, the tight hold grip I have on my life and embrace all the unknown that is to come. I’m want this next chapter to feel like an exciting adventure. Much like when I started my business, I think becoming a parent will be this new exciting challenge I am totally unprepared for but eager to figure out. Only unlike with my business the goal will be to enjoy each day and try not to look to far down the line at specific end goals.

On Taking Breaks, Part 2

Five years ago I wrote a post on taking breaks, how important it is for me and what I do to refill my cup when I take one. With a half decade of distance between that past version of me then and me now, I have some new thoughts on the importance of breaks.

Last week war broke out in Europe, that in itself is a loaded statement because truly the full scale invasion of Ukraine by Putin has been coming for 8 years. With this invasion comes a multitude of other systemic issue brought to the surface for examination. How society’s dependence on fossil fuels is paying for this war and contributed to inaction since the aggression has started. How racism and white supremacy is playing out in real time with no effort to even veil it. And blatant hypocrisy in American politics, ready to mislead and divide in a moment where the urge should be to unite.

World events like these, especially ones distant where I feel I have very little I can do to influence an outcome always bring a sense of hopelessness for humanity. At least for a while. But these are the times that I am reminded to step away from my curated algorithmic bubble that is social media, and dive into myself, my community, and the things in my environment I can have a hand at bettering.

I believe world peace starts in each individual. It begins with eradicating hate and prejudice in our own hearts. I continues with our actions wishing our own families and communities. Peace is a rebellious and ongoing act that will require each of us. And I for one cannot do this kind of continuous act with out taking time away from the continuous scroll, the constant intake of media and “hot takes,” and reflect on how I show up in this world to help make it the tiniest bit better. All this to say, I have been taking a break from social media and anything else that feels like a distraction. Instead I have been having dialogue with those I trust, processing my emotions and fears, and educating myself. All of these feel like fortifying acts so I can continue to show up in my own unique way with hope and energy for a better future.

Climate Anxiety

It’s gloomy in LA today, and given that a lot of the US is facing extreme heat I am not complaining at all. I can’t lie, watching climate forecasts that I have studied, or even simulated myself, come true is anxiety inducing and disappointing at a magnitude I have nothing to compare to.

I was recently told that anxiety often comes up when I am trying to control something out of my control. The remedy is to accept what I can’t control (apparently). But with something like climate change, how do we do that without becoming apathetic?

It is well know that those working in the climate field have a high burn-out rate. At least among my colleagues in the US. Often passion quickly turns to practicality, and before you know it you are a professional appealing to the most common denominator to get anything done.

For someone like me, idealistic and stubborn, working on climate policy solutions hard career. I was effective, I knew pretty early on that career would have an expiration date. Ambition and creativity are great traits, but persistence and patience are more valuable. I personally moved out of the public sector in favor of a potentially faster moving, more innovative entrepreneurial pursuit..

It’s gloomy in LA today, and given that a lot of the US is facing extreme heat I am not complaining at all. I can’t lie, watching climate forecasts that I have studied over the past decade+ come true is anxiety inducing and disappointing on a whole new scale. I was told recently that anxiety often comes up when I am trying to control something out of my control. The remedy is to accept that I can’t control it apparently, but that’s really hard when it’s an issue I spent all of majority of my life learning about and actively working to remedy. Today instead of dwelling, I am going to focus on the small thing within my control. Focus on what right in front of me. Recount all the progress made, even if it isn’t quite enough. And keep forging ahead.

Today instead of dwelling, I am going to focus on the small thing within my control. Focus on what right in front of me. Recount all the progress made, even if it isn’t quite enough. And keep forging ahead.

Sunflowers

Here is a glimpse behind the scenes of my office. The messiness is overshadowed by the sunshine of these sunflowers, one component of an elaborate wedding gift from my mom and sister.

Each time I look at them they make me smile. Sunflowers hold so many sentimental memories for me. One of my earliest memories is growing them with my mom in the windowsill of our west Harlem apartment. I was just 4 years old, but I remember checking on them every single day, multiple times a day in fact. It was as if Jack’s magic beans had been planted in our apartment, how quickly they grew.

Sunflowers always remind me of my late grandmother, too. She loved plants and flowers of all kinds, always the nurturer and a talented gardener. The bright yellow of these flowers exude the same bright, cheery optimism of my grandma. And these flowers remind me of my visits to see her. Often our first outing together would be to the grocery store because she wanted to stock the house with my favorite foods whether I was staying for just two days or a week. I liked to grab a bouquet for her, sometimes a growers bunch or something pre arranged, while she inspected produce. And when we’d get home she would take them straight to the sink and arrange them in a vase so they could be displayed on her cluttered dining table. That table was the heart of her home, the place were I got so much guidance, nourishment, and more laughs than imaginable.

And last, but not least, these flowers always bring my back to the true friendships I’ve made over the years. They’ve come to represent the many young women I have grown up with and the many new friends who shine on my life.

Such a sentimental and optimistic flower 🌻

Comparisons for Happiness

This year I have been reflecting on how the life I am living now was once just a dream for me. It’s a simple life, but when compared to other phases in my past it astonishes me how far I have come. This is a new perspective for me though…

A few months ago I became so fed up with my constant rumination on goals and ambitions that it was muddling my mind to the point of depression. I had become so focused on the future, in part because of the pandemic, that I could not appreciate where I am right now. My restlessness had become too much, I was constantly feeling rushed to get further in my life, speeding past this present phase. Fortunately, I recognized this feeling was making me unhappy and started the inner work that was needed.

While achievement is such a large part of my personality and life motivation, I recognize there is a dark side of it for me. Years ago I began practicing mindfulness because I can get so fixated on the future that I miss current life. And once I reach that future, I am yet again overlooking it to get to the next stage. I’ve never wanted to fall into the trap of never being satisfied with life. Instead I want to live a life full of appreciation for where I am at every stage and not simple when I’ve “made it.”

The way I cultivate this is by actively and intentional looking around me a speaking (often out loud) the things I am grateful for. At times it is simple the way the light is reflecting on the walls or the blossoming tree just outside the window. Other times it’s the peace and quiet of my home, or a beautiful piece of furniture I use daily. Or maybe it’s a meal I’ve prepared or the person in sharing my time with. When I stop and look around there are endless things that are right in front of me that I am so appreciative of. And the beauty of this practice is before long it happens subconsciously, my mind has quickly become accustomed to seeing what I have as opposed to what I don’t.

And when the gratitude doesn’t come so easily I compare my present, not to my future self or others, but instead to my own past self. I have so much that I have accomplished, and when I stop to think about it I can physically feel the pride well up in my body. I feel proud that I, as a Black mixed-raced woman worked my way through college, eventually and unconventionally received a graduate degree from an Ivy League university, built a fulfilling career and later bootstrapped a business, created stability for myself, found a healthy partner to build a life with, created safe home filled with laughter and love, and done the years of inner work to heal past traumas and manage my anxiety. These things, and more, when listed out are far more impressive than the bigger house or early retirement my mind may be focused on.

When I compare where I am today to me one year, 5 years, 10 years ago and more I can’t help but look around and realize I am enough just as I am.

Three Things

1. The last couple of weeks of headlines have been very anxiety inducing but the have also been a welcome reminder of the work left unfinished.

2. The breath holds so much power. When all else feels out of control I have been returning to my breath, the steady reminder that I am still here, I am alive and okay. As long as the next breath comes there is still hope and that is all I need.

3. “Why doesn’t constant trampling defeat the dandelion? The key to its strength is its long and sturdy root, which extends deep into the earth. The same principle applies to people. The true victors in life are those who, enduring repeated challenges and setbacks, have sent the roots of their being to such a depth that nothing can shake them.” -Daisaku Ikeda

Restorative Routines

Since starting to feel the fatigue of the pandemic I have chosen to focus on micro moments throughout the day that can help restore me, and not wear me down further. One daily activity of mine is my morning coffee pour, which I have written about before.

Focusing on the little things that being me joy helps me not dwell on the bigger picture that feels a bit uncertain and overwhelming. It' brings me back to my mindfulness practices that have taught me that a life is made up of many little moments. And a happy life is just cultivating happiness in each little act.

Cashmere, Linen & Check-in

What a year, and there are still nearly 2 months left. More than ever I am craving peace of mind, slowness, and solitude. My life seems to have become a never ending rotation of mindfulness rituals that even I sometimes wonder if I will tire of. But so far, no, having something dependable to rely on every day is just what’s needed during such tumultuous times.

What I’m Wearing:

Two Days Off Kaneko Dress

Jenni Kayne Cashmere Fisherman Sweater

Aerosoles East Side Loafers

Anxiety is caused by thoughts about the future

I was once told:

Worry is like a rocking chair. You go back and forth and back and forth but you never get anywhere.

It's so true, but how do we break the cycle of panic and worry? While doing my morning pages (a stream of consciousness journaling exercise I do most mornings) I came to realize that all of my anxiety was coming from knowing too much about this coronavirus crisis and overthinking it. I mean to say that if it were spreading and we didn't know I wouldn't be feeling any anxiety at all, I'd be in blissful ignorance and all my stress about it wouldn't exist. But we, fortunately, do know what is happening and yet I am using this information for both good (preparedness) and bad (overthinking and panic). Instead of going the overthinking route I am trying to instead just take the information we have and take preventative measures (additional handwashing, social distancing, stocking my pantry, supporting my family and community) to make the situation better. 

Yesterday I listened to Stressproof, episode 55. This podcast is quickly becoming one of my favorites. Susan Choi, the host, said:

During anxiety, on a subconscious level, we are resisting a possible future reality which keeps us stuck in the loop of anxious thoughts. 

This resonated with me so much. Susan explains that a lot of our anxiety stems from future-thinking and running through the multitudes of possible futures, and then rejecting the negative ones even though they haven't happened yet.

I have decided to let go of all that stress and the uncertainty of the future and treat it a little more like all the other uncertainty that exists in life that we are typically unaware of on a daily basis. This doesn't mean pretending like what is happening isn't. But it means accepting that the future isn't certain so I may as well do the little I can and be present in the now. 

Luxury is a feeling more than anything

We are all at home and the days are probably blurring together. I think it is very important these days to create little moments each day that differentiate one day from the next. When I don't I find myself getting bored and my thoughts drift toward being "stuck" at home instead of "safe" at home.

The little moments I am carving out for myself are what I am calling little luxuries. I think of luxury as something that is not necessary but gives me great comfort, and in my opinion, it doesn't have to cost a lot or anything at all.

So in that spirit here are some of the little luxuries I am using to make each day special:

• Sleep in. The easiest of them all for many of us. If you can, try it next weekend. Maybe be lavish about it and don't get out of bed until hunger forces you to. Bring a book, notebook, or something to bed with you the night before and after you wake-up (late) stay in bed even longer and read, journal, just hang out.

• Make a special breakfast. Last week I shared some recipes I have been loving, and in addition to these I just tried making a dutch baby this weekend, and boy was it easy and delicious!

• Schedule in hours of nothing time. We (read I) often underestimate the importance of rest. It is essential for our minds and bodies to function properly. And it is particularly important during times of unusual stress. Good sleep is essential, but I also find periods of active rest during my week where I am not responsible for doing anything, in particular, is so comforting. I like to block off time for me to relax, like having a long lunch where I can read or watch tv. Or an entire weekend afternoon that is not filled with housework or work work.

• Go for a long walk without your phone. Wow, what a difference disconnecting without my phone makes. I like to take my daily neighborhood walks without my phone now and again so I am not tempted to check emails, call someone, take photos, or be distracted in some other way. Having my phone in hand creates this urgency that I should be doing something else but when I don't have it I am able to immerse myself in the moment... what a luxury being present truly is.

• Take a long bath or shower and play some music. Such a simple thing, but it turns a daily "to do" into such a treat. Once in a while, I even like to get the diffuser going for some aromatherapy before I hope into the shower. It just reminds me to slow down to take care of myself. 

• And speaking of, do aromatherapy while you're working, cleaning, or just chilling. Light a candle, burn incense or run a diffuser. The extrasensory indulgence makes everyday activities feel special and more enjoyable. I really love eucalyptus oil and I am obsessed with Lait candles because their scents are very delicate and not overpowering while still filling the room (I actually was anti scented candles before I started using these!).

• Order in. If you are tired of cooking, just order in. Just take the proper precautions (contactless pick-up, removing all packaging from your home & cleaning, etc). I still find it to be such a gift that we can order in food amidst a pandemic and taking the responsibility of cooking off my partner and myself once in a while is the ultimate luxury.

2019 Resolutions Report Card

Each year I typically look back on my past year’s resolutions and rate myself on how well I held up. Although I enjoy this process of reflection this year I am not going to grade myself. I’ve been reading this book called The Birth Order Book, and it’s opened my eyes to how self-critical I am. As a firstborn I am a bit of a perfectionist. In the past I wore my perfectionism as a badge of honor but now I understand how unhealthy it actually is. Long story short, I think forgoing the self grading this year is a step in the right direction.

Now onto my resolutions!

This year I wanted to focus on enjoying the process in all aspects of my life, resting more and not just when my body forced me to, and staying grounded in my faith.

Enjoying the process is such a process in itself. I have been working hard to reprogram re way my brain works for a few years now. I’ve always been a results driven person. I love the feeling of setting a goal and then pushing until I reach the finish line, typically sooner than expected. And once I do I immediately move on I the next thing if I haven’t already (chronic multi-tasker over here). As I have gotten older the satisfaction in achievement has waned at times. I even went through a period of nihilism where everything seemed a bit pointless. That’s when I had to step back and think more about the deeper mission of achieving goals I set. I began to realize that no achievement is remarkable without appreciation for the effort that went into it. And even more importantly no end goal is worth Much if all the time spent reaching it is lost as either a blurred or stressful memory. In short, this year I have been actively trying not to begrudge all the steps between me and my objectives. I am trying to reflect each day as I go through the process of learning and growing and it makes those end goals feel less important and all the small wins along the way are the ones I get to cherish.

As for my resting resolution, I definitely need more work in this area. I have decided that the theme of 2020 will be rest for me once again. One great stride I made was in understanding my unhealthy relationship with rest and the guilt I feel when taking it. I began listening to the Stressproof podcast and in one episode the host, Susan Choi, talks about achievement addiction. I immediately realized that I had that. As Susan describes it, a symptom of achievement addiction may be the “your sense of achievement once reaching your goal is short lived, you minimize your achievements to yourself and others and say it’s really no big deal, you never feel at rest and often feel restless, (and more…).” I certainly lean toward feeling restless, minimizing my accomplishments, and chasing the next checkbox. Over the years I have noticed this in myself and I think this is in part where the guilt for resting or spending my time “unproductively has come from.” And while I have somewhat settled the restlessness and checkbox chasing, the inability to rest still remains. All that to say I am going to keep working at it because I know just how important turning off is to the creative mind, spiritual mind, and physical body.

My last big resolution was about faith, and I think that deserves a post on its own so I am going to save my thoughts for another day.

If you liked this resolution report card, check out my others from past years here. And you can see my visual summary of 2019 below with more detail on instagram.

Another Birthday

Monday I turned 32, and as my sweet godson pointed out, “wow, that’s old!”

I actually spent my birthday in NC with my family, mostly my grandma, who recently got some unfortunate health news. Despite that she is still living her life with vitality and joy as always and that was the greatest gift for me to witness for my 32nd rotation on this planet. While there My family put together an epic bbq with so many delicious dishes and enough food to feed an army. I was also there for my grandmother the morning of my birthday when she had to put down her 19 year old dog suddenly after a couple of weeks of rapid decline. And then there were many grocery runs, cooking of meals, watching of HGTV shows, laughing at random things, and discussions of life that took place. All in all wonderful.

being home made me realize what a treasure it is to invest in time with the people you love. I mean we all know that, but this time I really felt that. It became even clearer that all the hard work I do is not for money, but for freedom to be with the people I want, when I want. That is the greatest luxury.

On My Way to NC

I am heading to North Carolina for almost a week to spend time with my grandmother, dad and other extended family. I almost didn’t make this trip but sometimes your heart just tells you you need something and you are compelled to override your head. This is one of those times.

A Minimalist's Thoughts After a Trip to the Flea

This weekend I went to the Rose Bowl Flea Market for the first time, and while it was meant to be just a day of good fun (which it absolutely was), I also had a lot of mixed feelings throughout the day. Some of my big takeaways, aside from the little one I bought, were:

1. There is just so much stuff on this planet.

The vastness of the flea market is so much bigger than what you can comprehend from the map they give you as you walk in. Everywhere you look there are racks upon racks and table upon table and row upon row of things. So much stuff all in one place out in the open, not separated by buildings or walls, really makes an impression. And when you think this is just a portion of the selection of just a couple (thousand) vendors in this tiny part of the world, then to think of all the stuff that each one of us owns in our own home, and all the stuff that was previously made owned and thrown away! It is enough to make my head spin.

2. I love seeing so many people buying second hand.

Despite being a little overwhelmed by the amount of stuff, it was very exciting to see the prominent and enormous vintage and antique sections of the market. I am a strong believer in "Reduce, Reuse, Repair, Recycle" (and whatever iterations of this phrase), so buying things that already exist instead of increasing demand for new items of the same is excellent whenever possible.

3. I am not my things.

This is what I want to elaborate the most on today...

Probably the biggest feeling I felt throughout the day was that of want. I am not a super minimalist (or spartnaist), I still like to have things around me that inspire me or make my life even just a tad more comfortable or beautiful. But I have gotten pretty good control on my consumerist impulses to buy anything that I like. I am usually very deliberate when I go shopping with precisely what I want or need in mind and will leave empty-handed if I don't find just what it is I came in for. I tell you all of this because yesterday at the flea all of this was thrown out of the window. The excitement of all of the interesting and unique things brought to me a lust I hadn't felt in a long time. I wanted to take home so many things! Fortunately, my rational brain knew I had no space in my life for another basket, rug, denim jacket, or bulb vase and that feeling subsided. But that feeling it again bothered me enough to make me think...

Last year I read Fumio Sasaki's Goodbye Things: The New Japanese Minimalism. There are so many wonderful ideas that Sasaki shares from his own personal experience, but the one I was reminded of yesterday was when he asked himself the question, "Why do we own so many things when we don't need them?" He believes it is our way of conveying our own worth to others, using objects to tell the world who we are. He later shares an example of this in his bookshelves.

"I used to have books piled onto bookcases that took up all of the space in my narrow hallway. Yet I could barely remember reading any of them... It's clear to me now why I kept these books laying around... even though I knew I was never going to read them. I was desperate to convey my worth through these books. They were there to communicate the message: I've read a lot of books to date. As anyone who looks at my bookshelves can see, my interests are diverse, and I'm very inquisitive. I know all about these different topics if only in name... Perhaps I can be described with an intellectual with depth."

When I first read this passage I laughed at loud because I could think of many areas in my life where this must be the subconscious message on repeat. And yesterday I realized that similar dialogue sparked up. "I must have all these beautiful things to show the world how stylish and eclectic my taste is." Again, I am not saying having things to express one's personality is bad. I am just reflecting on my own uncomfortable impulses of yesterday. Then this morning, in my 5 Minute Journal, I found the quote of the day to be a perfect reminder:

"We don't really want things. We want the feelings we thing those things will give us." -Gary Tan

And the beautiful thing about that quote was that I reflect again on the day what stands out most it how much inspiration I got looking at all of the things made by people over the years, how much fun it was exploring with my partner, and how many times we told each other what a great day it had been, and those were the feelings I can hold on to.