Posting pictures, and videos on the internet of your children is becoming sucha c topic of conversation it even has a word now, “sharenting.” I get questions occasionally about why exactly I block out my son’s face in pictures. It’s not me trying to be mysterious, and I am definitely not anti-picture. My phone's bursting with blurry close-ups of tiny toes and gummy grins, mostly for my eyes and the “fan club” (aka our family group chat). But the big, wide web? My kid's face stays firmly offline.
I should start by saying, it is so hard not to post my baby’s face online. He is the most beautiful thing I’ve seen in my life, and I MADE him, I am so proud and would love to show him to the world! So suffice it to say, I completely understand the urge to share photos far and wide and do not pass judgement on anyone who does.
But why don’t I? Honestly, it just always felt... strange. Even before I was pregnant I’d scroll through endless timelines, watching strangers' babies morph into toddlers, then teens. I knew their favorite snacks, their pet's name, the weird inside joke from that beach vacation two years back. And then, one day, my partner asks, "Is that your friend's kid?" after I regale him with some random influencer’s child’s birthday party. "No," I say, suddenly aware of how creepy it sounds. "Just a kid on Instagram." That's when it hit me: this whole knowing-a-stranger's-life thing made me a bit uncomfortable.
Then there's the whole tech nightmare. Facial recognition and who-knows-what data-grabbing algorithms are lurking everywhere. The thought of my child’s face in the some digital ether, without him even knowing, makes me uneasy. Who knows how this technology will evolve and how his data will be used by the time he’s old enough to care. I just want to grant him the autonomy and choice to decide for himself. I mean, deep fakes identity theft is already an issue! I can’t imagine him coming of age and realizing someone is out there using his likeness for something without his consent.
And while we are on the topic of consent, my social media accounts are public. I’ve chosen to share parts of my life as a consenting adult, but sharing intimate details of his and his face opens him up to a world of likes and comments, and strangers forming opinions. I just feels too intrusive and inconsiderate for me. I’m not going to lie, I am also a little freaked out by people out there on the web who may not have the best intentions. Just look up “digital kiddnapping” for yourself, and I am not even going to get into predators.
I know some people will think I am paranoid and overthinking things, and maybe I am. But when I put myself in my son’s shoes, I would be uncomfortable with being out there on the internet and have no say in it. It is possible that when he grows up he won’t care. But on the off chance he does, I want to respect hisprovacy as an individual and keep his face just for those in his real, day-to-day life.
